These are some notes that I took at the conference that I went to this year. There are some things that I put in here that the speaker didn’t say, but came to me as I was listening, or analyzing my notes. They are of a more personal nature and I was going to remove them, but then I felt like God want me to leave them in case they might speak to you or help you relate in some way. I hope and pray that you can be encouraged as well.
So… I super like this video. Have liked it since it was first posted on YouTube. Thought I would share 🙂
So I don’t really know if this blog will turn out to be one cohesive post or not… but here we go.
Lately I’ve had a lot of random musings going through my mind. There is the never ending yearning of my heart for more. I can never really shake it. No matter how close to God I get, or far from Him, it never goes away. The yearning for more turns into thoughts of “How?”. How do I get more? Then it turns to “What?”. What do I want more of? Miracles? Signs? Wonders? Youth to minister to? Money? Friends? Authority? Then it turns to “Why?”. Why do I want those things? If I want Miracles, why do I want those? For my own glory or God’s? So my name will become well known or God’s? If I want any of those things, why do I truly want them? Continue reading…
“Job got to his feet, ripped his robe, shaved his head, then fell to the ground and worshiped: Naked I came from my mother’s womb, naked I’ll return to the womb of the earth. God gives, God takes. God’s name be ever blessed. Not once through all this did Job sin; not once did he blame God.” Job 1:20-21
Job 1:1 talks about what kind of man Job was. I’m no where near as devoted as Job was most days of my life (although that is my desire) and yet I feel as though God abandoned His poor, innocent servant every time things don’t go my way. What is up with that?
Reading these verses, I feel like such a spoiled brat. I turn quickly on my awesome loving Savior when physical things go wrong. Lord, please teach me to respond like Job did. He immediately went to worship and recognized that he came into this world with nothing and will leave this world with nothing. It’s all in God’s hands. His capable, loving, strong, nail-scared hands…
So… It’s been long…long…long time since I’ve written anything. To be completely honest and transparent, it’s mostly because I haven’t really had anything worth writing. Sure, I’ve been extremely busy and life feels like it’s spinning in harmonious chaos. But ultimately, if I felt I had something worth writing, I would’ve made time to do it. Which begs the question, why haven’t I had something worth writing? Is there nothing going on in my spiritual life which I could write about and share with others? I feel like a lot has changed in my life and heart over the past year. In fact, I know a lot has changed. And yet, so much hasn’t. A lot of the idols and giants I wanted conquered in my life remain to die another day. I know God has been moving in my life, but have I really pursued Him at the depth I could have and with the passion of a lovesick lover? Honestly, no. No I haven’t. If I had, I know I would be on to bigger and better things in God.