Ramblings of a fringe disciple…

So I don’t really know if this blog will turn out to be one cohesive post or not… but here we go.

Lately I’ve had a lot of random musings going through my mind. There is the never ending yearning of my heart for more. I can never really shake it. No matter how close to God I get, or far from Him, it never goes away. The yearning for more turns into thoughts of “How?”. How do I get more? Then it turns to “What?”. What do I want more of? Miracles? Signs? Wonders? Youth to minister to? Money? Friends? Authority? Then it turns to “Why?”. Why do I want those things? If I want Miracles, why do I want those? For my own glory or God’s? So my name will become well known or God’s? If I want any of those things, why do I truly want them? Continue reading…

Upward and Onward

So… It’s been long…long…long time since I’ve written anything. To be completely honest and transparent, it’s mostly because I haven’t really had anything worth writing. Sure, I’ve been extremely busy and life feels like it’s spinning in harmonious chaos. But ultimately, if I felt I had something worth writing, I would’ve made time to do it. Which begs the question, why haven’t I had something worth writing? Is there nothing going on in my spiritual life which I could write about and share with others? I feel like a lot has changed in my life and heart over the past year. In fact, I know a lot has changed. And yet, so much hasn’t. A lot of the idols and giants I wanted conquered in my life remain to die another day. I know God has been moving in my life, but have I really pursued Him at the depth I could have and with the passion of a lovesick lover? Honestly, no. No I haven’t. If I had, I know I would be on to bigger and better things in God.

Continue reading…